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Creating Boundaries

April 24, 2018

Creating boundaries within yourself and with others are equal aspects that need to be practiced. Setting up internal boundaries with self is one that must be practiced the most to reflect the same respect externally. Knowing how to follow your emotions is something I will elaborate on in the section for Creating Boundaries. During this practice, you can simultaneously implement boundaries externally. If you desire to have more boundaries, then you must practice this toward self and externally. You can start as small as saying no to an external engagement regardless if your schedule is free and open is an opportunity to implement this practice, or as big as turning down a job opportunity because the establishment is not one you consider ethical or aligned to your inner world. When it comes to making or turning down a commitment, I find it very helpful to practice saying, “Let me check my schedule and get back to you”, or “I need the day to think about this”. Giving yourself the gift of time helps you determine what will be a beneficial or detrimental exchange with endeavors moving forward.

 

The gift of time is often overlooked because we believe subconsciously that we do not have the time to think out a mindful response when presented with choices. When we are given an opportunity or adversities, we believe we need to act or react in that moment. Past conditions that lead us to believe that if something is not going the way we think it should be going, or we believe that time is running out to change that course, or we think we will miss an opportunity of a lifetime, that we must respond right now. If someone poses a question, an offer, a challenge, or anything that demands a response from you, then you must respond in that moments time. Reacting in the moment has become the basis of how we operate because of conditions we believe we need to give and receive right now. Everything needs to be instant and this state of mind has only been deeply enforced as we continue moving forward with technologies and systems designed to offer convenience and instant satisfaction. This frequency is the same frequency as the behavior behind compulsive reaction. Our culture in the modern day has trained us to operate from instantly gratifying expectations, whether we are conscious of it or not. In everything that we do, we want things done now, without realizing how it affects our ability to react or act out of integrity. It hinders our ability to be mindful and react with intention, because it takes willful acts to break out of compulsive cycles. It is the now, or the instantly gratifying conveniences that has caused a great imbalance in our will to react from a state of mindfulness. It is time to take back our will to react without being punished by societies doing and cultural expectations.

 

If someone asks you to help them, do you feel you are obligated? Do you agree to the commitment right away without question? How quickly do you respond and how does the exchange make you feel? These are all questions we must ask ourselves to become more aware of our response system. Most of us have been conditioned to react instantly without careful decision to what we are agreeing to. On the surface it appears you are in the position to help and that you would be more than happy to help. However, if you take the time to reflect by checking in with yourself, you may find that giving your time and energy will not rebalance you, but imbalance you. We sometimes forget the golden rule to equal exchange, that anytime we help, give, or love, you must first give these things to yourself. Before committing to anything, check in with yourself to feel if your energy can extend itself without causing energetic disturbances. Give yourself the gift of time to help you make a decision that doesn’t rush you or make you feel that you must respond immediately. This process is needed if you desire balance and boundaries. Without mindful consideration, you may be compromising your energy that can lead to imbalances and invitations that cross boundaries.

 

I like using the scenario of ‘if someone asks you to help them…’ because it helps us clearly observe the exchange of energy that takes place. We all experience a time when we were asked to help someone or when we’ve asked someone to help us. This exchange demands both parties to commit and can be one of the most fulfilling agreements whether we are the giver or the receiver. When both sides offer integrity with the transaction, both have equal opportunity to enrich and connect with self and one another. This clear picture helps us understand how we operate on a larger scale in all areas of our life. How you react towards exchanges throughout life really sets you up to becoming balanced or imbalanced. It’s important to observe both self and the reciprocator to determine any decision you create. This process is also something we must apply to our own internal commitments because you also create the energy within. Learning how to react mindfully and with intention is the goal to preserve self-integrity and creates a higher state of awareness. This process is the pre-cursor to mastering self-awareness, but it must be practiced holistically in all areas of your life. Getting to know your patterns will help you shape the quality of the exchanges you create and help you transmute blocks, traumas, conditions, and belief systems. This is ultimately how we become self-aware and how we increase our vibration.

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